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Rediscovering Mom

Finding Freedom 

Winter has arrived, and I am super scared for my sanity.  My son and I have been home all week fighiting colds and I’m already close to going crazy, and today I finally planned to escape the walls of my apartment but after looking at the weather forecast I thought the better of it while we are still sick.   -10 with the wind and snow.

I don’t have my liscene which makes being a stay home mom super difficult.  I’ve always lived close enough to everything to manage without it. Taking the bus, or taking a cab on the days I could not  walk. But  with a child  travelling by bus means taking my large stroller. I have ventured on the bus once and was mostly embarassed the whole time. My son was only a few months old and I didn’t know how to put the seats up and the bus driver barely waited a second for us to get situated. Needless to say I swore off buses after this experiance.

In a few short months I will be able to take a cab as most offer a forward facing  car seat. Not that I myself am a particular fan, I prefer to keep my son rear facing as long as possible but know this will help us get to places much easier.

I’m scared for the winter, I often get depressed  during  the winter months. It’s my number one goal to get my liscene in the coming year. 

I will be 29 in January and pray not to go into my 30s without them. 

I’m hopeful I will  find a new type of freedom once I get them. 
 

 

 

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High Expectations 

It’s 7am and as I sit here in the peace and quiet before the day begins I am trying to not lose myself in the million thoughts going through my head.

I’ve been up for an hour showered meditated and now sipping my morning coffee. 

I’m thinking about how hard and challenging  it can be to make new habits.  I slowly see myself fading back to the  old  me, spending to much time on Facebook, not reading, not exercising, not meditating, and not being mindful.

I’ve never been good with change I get so excited at the prospect that I jump right in only to disappoint myself more when I don’t follow through. Maybe I put to many expectations on myself.

I’m even disappointed  in my lack of blogging although  I know there is no set amount  I need to write nor is there anyone saying when I have to write. 

I take back the maybe. I do put to many expectations on myself and I’m going to try and stop. 

Monday’s Affirmations

14317619_10154538638107500_5256797492301443904_nTo start this week I wanted to share affirmations that I  like.

I’m in the process of becoming the best version of me.

I appreciate all that I have.

The more I let go,  the better I feel.

Inhale confidence, exhale doubt.

Everything I need is already within in me.

Grateful

It’s a sunny Monday  morning, a week before Thanksgiving.  With so many things to be grateful for this year. I want  to be sure to think about them through the week. My husband will be away working however I plan to have a nice relaxed weekend with my little boy with walks in the leaves, playtime at the park,  fall crafts, and yummy eats.

I want to share with him all the things we have to be grateful for not only this week but everyday.

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Mommy Time

No mediations, no walks, and no routine. It happens every time my husband has days off and as much as I love and enjoy when he is home I need the balance. 

The key to my happiness is to take time for myself. Something I struggle with. I ask him every set to have time but I don’t know what is I would do with my free time. 

What do you do when you have time for yourself?

First Family Gathering with Babe

Ugh.  Annoyed and frazzled. This week has been crazy and the real craziness  has yet to begin. It’s my sister in laws wedding and just as much as I’m excited I’d rather curl up in my pj’s and not go.  It’s really our first big outing since my  son was born. The thought of so much going on overwhelms me.

My husband is standing for the groom and I’m super  happy  for him as it is a big honor to have been asked.  I just feel like the next 3 days pre wedding  wedding and post  wedding is going to leave me to parent by myself.  Not to mention he just worked a month away.

I also  have to get all of our camping gear together, make a casserole for post wedding brunch   and tend to my child all while daddy is at rehearsal/decorating . 

 I’m feeling overwhelmed which makes me shut down. I’ve  meditated which helped up until my husband called and said he wouldn’t be coming home tonight.

Now to go for walk once my little man wakes and get some fresh air to clear the head.

End of rant. Praying the next few  days go smoother then I envision. 

Earth’s Gift

I was never a morning person up until my son was born, now I live for getting up early with him  and seeing the sunrise. Nothing sets the tone for my day better than seeing the

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beautiful colours of the morning sky.    As I continue to grow  as a mother and as a person  I know I want to appreciate the Earth’s gift of nature more.  I love walks on the trails, I love  the changes of seasons,  I love the smell of the air and the feel of the rain on a rainy day. I must not forget how I love a good rainy day one curled up a good book and a hot cup of coffee.

I look forward to building piles of leaves with my son, and jumping in them. I look forward to  making snow angels in the winter, I look forward to jumping in the rain puddles in the spring. I have so much to look forward to in life, and not that I didn’t before but my son has taught me to appreciate life in a whole different way.

I have started reading again, and as I was telling my husband last night I think that was something I was missing. I love reading, I love the library and I love learning. I want to give that gift to my son. To show him to  appreciate everything in life, to be grateful.

Last evening as the day came to an end, I read a quote and I want to share it with you.

“It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you if  you allow it.”  Unknown

I love this quote, because I  am starting to see that now. When I let the negativity over power me and bring me down it results in a bad day. When I embrace the positive in life, I have a much happier relaxed day.   What I am saying is that sometimes we have to take a different look at the world and start appreciating what has been in front of us all along.

Have a wonderful day!

 

 

Mindful Monday

I’ve meditated now everyday for two weeks, sometimes once but more often twice. I am loving it. Meditation  has made me feel grounded, relaxed, and much more in the present.

I usually try to meditate first thing in the morning and before I go to bed.  The morning  can be a combination of both nursing my son and mediation. If I am having a particularly rough day I mediate while he naps this helps me focus on the day.

I have used several apps. Calm, Wildflower Mindfulness, Headspace, and Stop Breath Think.  I really enoyed doing the  7 Days of Calm , it was a great introduction of meditation however I did not love the price tag for subscribing.   I will however be purchasing their book and following their blog.

I  couldn’t get into Wildflower mostly because I was unable to choose the length of time and the voices leading the mediation did not soothe me.

I really liked Headspace and still do its a great app, but then after reading another blog with suggested mediation apps I found Stop Breath and Think and I love it. Not to say I may still use Headspace. Another blog for me to follow,as well as reading their book.

I love Stop Breath and Think because I can choose the length of time, it gets me to check in and log my feeling before and after meditation.   The mediations I have used so far are Welcoming The Day, Falling Asleep, Graitude, Commanility of Suffering ( loved this one, really helped on a particularly  rough day), Relax Ground and Clear. I can’t wait to use the others 🙂

Every Monday I want to share my insights and  findings while I learn more about mediation and mindfulness.

Have a fantastic week!

 

 

 

 

Blessed

“Stop focusing on how stressed you are, and focus on how blessed you are.” Unknown

I am feeling so blessed today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise and a buck sitting in my back yard and a bluebird that lands stops by for a daily visit to say hello.

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I had a morning mommy date with a dear friend, which ended sitting in the same very grass as the buck and chatting with our Starbucks as our littles played.

The afternoon came quick and with that I did my routine chores,  but as the week unwinds so does my list of to do’s. The weekend is approaching it soon will be time to relax.

I sit here now with a glass of wine, feeling so blessed and so grateful for all that life has to offer. I look forward to tomorrow, and the future.

The above quote is a quote that inspires me to not dwell on the small things and realize how lucky I truly am.  Day 9 of the 28 Day Love Yourself Challenge.

I’d love to hear the quotes that motivate and inspire you.  Please share in the comments 🙂

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